Friday, July 4, 2008


I fucking hate emo's. And no, I don't hate people with real problems. I hate people who think that being depressed and misunderstood is the coolest thing in the world. First off, let's clear up this "misunderstood" bullshit. Emo's are not misunderstood. There are millions of kids who have the same lame-ass problems that they have. The difference? The ones who aren't emo got over their problems a long time ago, while the emo ones just sit behind their computer and type endless entries of bitching and moaning in their blogs. Newsflash you dumbasses, nobody cares about your problems. We have enough shit on our plate as it is. As for being depressed? Please. I sincerely doubt that being grounded by your parents (or some other God-awful excuse for a problem) merits suicidal-level depression. Save the act for tinsel town you drama queens. Hollywood may need a few extras to blow up in it's next big action flick.

As if all the false depression and bitching weren't enough, emo's just have to prove that their stupid problems are worthy of attention. And what better way to prove that they are suicidal than with a half-assed suicide attempt? It's easy! Just borrow your dad's razor (because everyone knows that emo's aren't manly enough to grow facial hair) and apply to your wrists. Aaaaand poof! A fucked up social trend is born! Ten thousand frolicking fucknuts! "Look at me! I'm so cool because my over-exaggerated problems are so bad that I cut myself just to feel alive!" Do you know why emo's feel alive when they cut themselves? It's because they're sprouting boners at the thought of all the attention that they're going to get because of their shallow wrist-cuts. Holy shit you emo butt-monkeys. I've seen a 5-year-old trip and skin his knee walk away with wounds deeper than that. Any suicide attempt that you can shake off and brag to your friends about the very next day is just another fucked up cry for attention. And please, if you have emo friends, don't feed their desire for a chance at the limelight. Whenever they tell you about one of their shallow, moronic problems that can probably be solved in under 5 minutes, then show you their latest failed attempt at suicide, don't go, "Poor baby. I understand what you are going through.". Let them know that suicide is a serious matter and that their dumb attempt at attention-whoring is just annoying.

Of course, there's also emo fashion (i.e. black clothes and makeup). Guys, using eye-liner does not make you look cool and disturbed, and in fact registers as a huge blip on gaydar. I mean, I know that I'm no genius when it comes to fashion, but I'm pretty sure that makeup was conceived with women in mind. And let's not forget about emo clothes. These commercialized shirts are nothing more than glorified advertisements of the social cancer that is "emo" or some other related shit that are making a few guys in expensive suits even more filthy-fucking rich. I mean sure, the fact that any shirt, pair of jeans, or whatever article of clothing that has been mass produced being just another corporate scam for free advertisement is old news, but these soulless money-mongers take it to a whole different level. Not only do they require people to pay for advertising their favorite emo band on their chests, but they're advocating a trend that tends to be dangerous to gullible, depressed people. Emo's with fake problems and their sad excuses for suicide attempts are one thing, but there are poor souls out there who are already dangling on edge. People don't need encouragement to jump off a building, the world and all of it's bullshit is enough motivation already.


Erika said...

i think they're the evolved for the worst version of punks. hehe

Anonymous said...

Although I agree with you on the general "emo people are annoying and sad little people" part of the equation, I feel impelled to give you a history lesson: Make-up.

Make-up was invented for men, particularly eyeliner and blush so that unhealthy rich MEN could look more impressive. Women wearing make-up is a relatively new fashion trend.